I have had a halo all along…

An older woman at my job turns to me before our staff meeting at 10:30 at night and says to me “How do you feel little lady?”
Within this very moment I could have listed a page full of emotions, mostly negative, but instead I gave her a simple “tired” and left it at that. She turned to the other woman beside me and said “she has 3 little ones at home!” …I got the usual response of “God Bless You” with a shocked then depressed look. The woman than went on to trace an imaginary halo over my head while telling me my halo was glowing. Who knew I even had one..between my potty mouth and teenage years I was sure that halo had either become so dim it might as well be non existent or it had already fell apart and was no longer even there. But last night I was reassured it’s not only still there but it’s glowing.

I guess one would say I’m an angel for taking on the task of 3 kids and a step child at the age of 24, although I usually get called other things such as crazy and out of my damn mind. I would like to think I have a halo for other reasons such as the fact that Iv been hurt, betrayed, cheated and taken advantage of and I never have retailiated with revenge and still somehow have a heart. A heart that not only works but loves deeply and sometimes what feels like unconditionally despite the wrongdoings. But to others taking on the life I have chose declares me a damn near saint in their eyes, so I guess from now on I will walk around with Beyoncés “Halo” song as my entrance music.
Sincerely,
A very complex, underestimated and misunderstood young woman, who never knew my halo still shinned so bright. 😉

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The never ending To-Do list…

A post I’m sure most mommies can relate to. Definitely mommies of multiple children. So here we go.

I wake up every morning with a determined mindset to at least get half of my minds to do list done by the end of the day. I am still getting used to having a newborn all over again and terrible twos from a child who is not even two years old yet. As I let this set in and attempt to juggle my duties as a mommy and wife, I realize my expectations are almost unrealistic. As much as I would absolutely LOVE to do the dishes, wash clothes, clean up, feed and care for my newborn, along with showing attention to my two other kids and even get some learning time in with my toddler it’s just become impossible in a days work. Oh yea! And I still have school supply shopping to do for my oldest who starts school on Tuesday….yes, this upcoming Tuesday as in 5 days away. (Don’t judge me)

Most moms know that the simplest tasks such as using the bathroom or even taking a nice long hot shower are never the same or just that simple after having kids. Today I am going to try to do the unthinkable. I am going to attempt to get at least if not more than half my to-do list done before heading off to work.

Sincerely,

A want to be super mom

I should be sleeping…the end.

Everyone is asleep, and here I am, awake.

I could have been sleeping an hour ago when I was done feeding my newborn and she fell back into her dreams. But as soon as I layed down and closed my eyes, the first line of my second chapter of my book came to me. I had to make the important decision to either get up, get my phone and write it down, or take the risk of waking up and forgetting it completely. I tried to ignore my mind talking to me but I couldn’t. So I got up and wrote it down in my notepad. An hour later that sentence turned into half a page and the start to the ending of my book all together. I couldn’t turn my brain off, an issue I have usually every day and night. Now I will attempt to fall back asleep before having to wake up in an hour. Unless another sentence comes to me of course.

The end.