A Mind With A Mind Of Its Own

As I lay here listening to their deep breaths, watching the rising and collapsing chest of my husband, daughter and son, I realize why I can’t fall back asleep. Here I am unable to enjoy the very rare moment of sleeping in past 8:30am.

My thoughts have thoughts, whose thoughts are currently taking over my ability to fall into a deep and peaceful sleep with which could lead to visions of sugar-plums dancing in my head….probably not, most likely it would be McDonalds fries and a mocha frappe, but that’s besides the point.

When I first started this blog it was based off the daily life of my adventours, good and bad, of being a mother. Little did I know this would turn into an outlet for when life took a turn and threw a brick at me called anxiety.

But I have decided instead of halting my writing and taking a break from blogging, I would use this as another form of helping myself to realize it’s ok to admit you have an issue (many issues), and no, I’m not the only one. And so far it has been a huge accomplishment and motivator.

So excuse my random post of my wild mind, my kids have not done anything too out of the ordinary lately anyway (surprisingly).

So to end this post I would like to say, I may not have many followers yet, although I still have confidence one day I will. But if I can reach the few I have and bring a smile or even a smerk, a sense of not being alone or misunderstood, then my plan and goal for this blog is working, and with that I would be more than happy.

Everything happens for a reason, and with that being said, enjoy the chapters of my life not many know or get to see. Chapters in which I don’t even know what the beginning or end will consist of, chapters we will read together.

Sincerely,

A mind with a mind of its own.

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“My anxieties have anxieties”-Charles M. Schulz

Some days I have complete control; other days are pure torture.

Anyone who has had, or knows someone who has had anxiety, knows how disabling it can be.

As much as you try to reassure yourself, as much as you try to convince yourself that these thoughts do not exist, your brain tells you otherwise, and for whatever reason you truly, whole heartedly believe it.

Life becomes ten times more difficult dealing with the constant battle. Sometimes it leads you to feel helpless, insane, emotionally and mentally incapable of dealing with everyday life. Add small kids to the mix and its almost disastrous.

Of course you try all the self help techniques Google can provide before realizing it’s something deeper than any search engine can fix.

It takes a lot to admit when you have any type of problem, it takes putting aside the feelings of weakness, embarrassment, and the sense of failing knowing you couldn’t control it on your own or just simply make it stop, since it sounds so easy to do, but are quickly reminded that it’s not.

It takes that one moment of feeling like you’ve completely lost yourself, like you’ve completely lost your mind. That moment it starts affecting not only you, but those around you that you love the most but know don’t and probably never will understand.

And when that moment comes, take charge. Regain control of your thoughts, your mood and life by any means possible.

Life is too short, too precious, to be anything less than happy.

Sincerely,

A mind filled with worry.