Back in Action!

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Hi everyone!

I have fell off planet earth for a while but don’t worry! I have made it back and am ready to fill you in!

As some of you may or may not know I just semi recently (10 months ago) had my first little girl (another blog in itself). Now with 3 little ones I physically pushed out and a step son I love as my own we are up to a 4 child family. (Ages: 7, 5, 2 1/2, and 10 months).

I have learned to accept our little big family, even though I am convinced my 2 year old is from another planet…an evil one..where they are taught in the womb how to torture their mothers. But I love him too much to send him back 🙂

I have found I love reading articles/blogs about having multiple kids (at 5am while my early bird of a daughter is up 😬) not only are they funny, but very true. I guess in a way they reassure me I’m not as crazy as I possibly think I am for having so many kids.  If you have 0 kids people think your selfish, if you have 4 or more they think your crazy lol by time you get past 2 you start realizing there is no such thing as a perfect parent and happily accept that. Found out that studies have shown having 3 kids rather than 1-2 is the most stressful while having 4 had the least stressed moms. All of the points are pretty valid. Although 1-2 kids seems like a breeze now, all the fun, valuable lessons learned for them (and us), the “never a boring day” feeling and amount of love they have and give to each other is worth all the headaches, tantrums, inability to “run into the store real quick”, 24/7 cartoons and lack of sleep. Kids of larger families learn there is no such thing as being selfish, learn the value of money, forever have a play date and with a couple little helpers actually makes parenting a little easier ☺️ I’m not encouraging anyone to have a mini sports team or circus, but if you think you may want to, just know your not crazy.. just really brave lol

I am dedicating myself to a good 5 minutes of my 24 hour day to get back to this blogging thing. With kids and a life like mine I would almost feel guilty not letting people get a little laugh out of my everyday adventurous (as my daughter chews on her foot as I’m trying to write this)

Stay tuned 😁

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Out of commission!

We are out of commission temporarily. The culprit? My 6 year old son.

After less than a month of being in 1st grade he has brought home his first germ.  It passed through him, my toddler and now is stretching both mommy and daddy at the same time.  Between the coughing, sneezing, stuffy and runny nose, this is just a huge sign to myself that I am not looking forward to winter even more. There’s nothing better than taking care of 3 kids, one being a 2 month old infant while feeling like crap. ( that was said with as much sarcasm as possible) I can only hope this is a quick illness and even quicker recover. (Sigh)

2 months

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I’m not really sure where the time went. I just know that it’s gone.
Two months have slipped past my knowledge and I am staring at my now two month old little girl realizing this is just the beginning. This is just the start of many years to come lost in confusion in the popular phrase “Where has the time gone?”. I have been through this before and thought this time it would be different. I thought this time I would somehow be able to master the skill of slowing time down in order to cherish every second. Only to realize there is no skill to be mastered and it is simply impossible. Before I know it I will be writing a post about her first birthday and referencing back to this very moment. I promised myself I wouldn’t let life take me away from her and wouldn’t allow it to distract me from the most important thing. Unfortunately my brain and life had other plans and it seems as though stress and all the other responsibilities of being a parent and an adult still somehow suck away the opportunity to solely focus on her and my boys. It’s a work in progress. That is something I can work on, fix and master. And I have all intentions on doing so. But for now I will continue to enjoy the moments I do have to just hold her little body in my hands and gaze into her eyes knowing that one day I will only be able to do these things in memory.

I have had a halo all along…

An older woman at my job turns to me before our staff meeting at 10:30 at night and says to me “How do you feel little lady?”
Within this very moment I could have listed a page full of emotions, mostly negative, but instead I gave her a simple “tired” and left it at that. She turned to the other woman beside me and said “she has 3 little ones at home!” …I got the usual response of “God Bless You” with a shocked then depressed look. The woman than went on to trace an imaginary halo over my head while telling me my halo was glowing. Who knew I even had one..between my potty mouth and teenage years I was sure that halo had either become so dim it might as well be non existent or it had already fell apart and was no longer even there. But last night I was reassured it’s not only still there but it’s glowing.

I guess one would say I’m an angel for taking on the task of 3 kids and a step child at the age of 24, although I usually get called other things such as crazy and out of my damn mind. I would like to think I have a halo for other reasons such as the fact that Iv been hurt, betrayed, cheated and taken advantage of and I never have retailiated with revenge and still somehow have a heart. A heart that not only works but loves deeply and sometimes what feels like unconditionally despite the wrongdoings. But to others taking on the life I have chose declares me a damn near saint in their eyes, so I guess from now on I will walk around with Beyoncés “Halo” song as my entrance music.
Sincerely,
A very complex, underestimated and misunderstood young woman, who never knew my halo still shinned so bright. 😉

On a better note…..

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Now that my toddler is down for a nap I can only hope he wakes up in a better mood. That is yet to be determined. Until then time to reflect on some positive things.
I got my notification today that I have reached 200 likes for this blog. That may seem like nothing to the popular crew who have far exceeded this number, but put 200 people in a room and that’s a hell of a fan base for me. It’s been a little over a month since I started this blog I believe and it has done wonders for me. So whether it’s 200 or 20, every one counts. So thank you for those who “like” my chaotic slightly humorous life.

Another positive that has brought me some joy is the fact that my previous Babygirl is being featured on social media for the world to see. By no means am I a stage mom or whatever they call those moms who push their kids to do something they are secretly wishing they had done. But being that her beauty had been recognized and appreciated I have decided to make her own little page for her fans. Feel free to follow and share her Instagram page @LanaKaylee_ . Nothing like a precious little baby girl to brighten a cloudy day.

Other than that just enjoying being alive, tantrums and all, I may wish to escape it time to time but I will never trade it. My kids and family have become my soul purpose for living and without them I would be worthless. So on that note, good day. 🙂

My days in prison

Be forewarned, I am about to vent and rant and whether anyone can relate is unknown.

Today is one of the days I am in prison. I’m not talking about an actual prison (unfortunately since I’d rather be anywhere but here right now) but the prison I call my home. Most days there is nowhere else I’d rather be, other days I feel trapped and alone with no way of escaping, only because it would be illegal to. I have been through this toddler phase before, but never to this extent. I also had a full time job that allowed myself some extra sanity to deal with it properly. But now I am going through the toddler stage with a newborn, a newborn who is starting to react to his continuous screeches and screams for many not so obvious reasons. I keep telling myself it will be over soon but my pounding headache is making that irrelevant right now. Iv tried different techniques, tried different ideas to control the tantrums yet I still get to experience and suffer from them everyday while trying to cater to and care for a newborn and my other son. I knew it wouldn’t be easy going into this, I was warned but never could have imagined this type of torture. I love my toddler. I love him with my whole entire heart but being this thing called a human only allows myself to tolerate so much at one time. Which usually leads to me calling my husband with every emotion possible and feeling as if I am not only weak but failing. Then the resentment sets in as I speak to him that he never has to go through this punishment, he gets to escape to work for long hours while I am stuck in these walls with what you would think is a wild animal. And even when he is home my toddler decided to be on his best behavior for the most part. Not to mention he will be working on Saturdays again soon which means every other weekend I will get to not only have my screaming toddler and crying newborn but my older son and stepson to cater to on top of it. I used to have all the patience in the world with one child. That has quickly changed. So to say the least I am extremely glad I have decided to take on a part time job, although my back kills me and I’m on my feet the whole time with only a 15 minute break, it has almost become a necessity in order to keep my sanity away from these days when I’m in prison.

Sincerely,
A mother who has high hopes in one day, sooner than later, regaining some mental freedom and sanity.

Success!

imageIn my last post I stated how we were going to attempt the impossible and take all our kids on a little field trip and today that was not only done but successfully accomplished. The ride down was peaceful, our newborn was sleeping the whole time other than to eat and be changed without a peep made and our boys enjoyed themselves. Some minor crocodile tears from our toddler as expected when his brothers were doing something he wasn’t big enough for but other than that it was a lot of fun. Trips are even better when your kids cooperate 🙂 Will definitely be going back. Sunday Funday.

Sincerely,

a pleasantly surprised mommy

Three Musketeers

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I have talked about my daughter a lot but have yet to introduce my three musketeers. They are a triple threat with the best qualities. Loving, caring, and handsome.

From left to right we have my 4 year old step-son, my 2 year old son and my 6 year old son. Yes…all 2 years apart. I say “step-son” to be technical but in all reality he is just a son I didn’t physically push out. It’s hard to believe as I look at his 4 year old face that I was buying a cake and decorating for his 1st birthday. Then again, I look at my 6 year old who is entering first grade in 2 weeks and finding it hard to believe that I am going to be the mother to a first grader.
These two boys have had a bond since they met, like long lost brothers, ever since then they still have that bond and I can’t imagine it ever going away. It has been amazing watching them grow and learn together and watch their love for each other blossom without a care in the world that they are not biologically related. That is the true definition of love.

And then we have our 2 year old….he was thee PERFECT baby, slept through the night by 3 months old and was on a sippy cup by 5 months. Before we knew it he was turning 18 months and becoming a Tasmanian devil by the days before we knew it. Now with him turning 2 in a couple months, I get to experience the ear piercing screams and constant temper tantrums over everything and anything. Luckily he has his two amazing brothers who choose to not only put up with his new found craziness but console him and help him when they can, or more so when he lets them. He knows how to test our patience and sanity, as every toddler does, but besides his normal toddler ways, he is a loving and smart little boy that I wouldn’t trade for the world.

Now we have our newest addition who just turned a month old. Our oldest was hoping for a boy and said “if it’s a girl, I’m locking myself in my room!” Luckily for me he had fallen in love with her and has changed him mind. All the boys are such huge helps with her. Even our youngest who loves trying to stop her from crying by giving her pacifier to her and gives her lots of kisses. We couldn’t be happier or more grateful for the children we have. They keep us on our toes and always give us a new adventure and memory to reminisce and talk about. Our little princess has the best brothers and we have the most amazing children.

Sincerely,
A mother of four

The “W” Word

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    The day has come and gone…

    Yesterday was the day I was going to unwillingly leave my precious one month old and head off to the “W” word.
    The day I had been trying to mentally prepare for and failed horribly. It wasn’t all day (nor will it ever be) but it was long enough to make me wonder what she was doing and how she was feeling every second of every hour I was there.
    Of course I knew she was in good hands. She was in the best of hands besides mine. She was with Daddy. But the attachment I have formed with her and the fact that she just turned 1 month old didn’t help my anxiety filled mind think of everything and anything that could go wrong.

    Of course when I got home, she was perfectly content along with her brothers and my husbands first shift as super dad was over. In all honesty I enjoy learning something new and getting out of the four walls that have kept me captive for months. I enjoy the option to actually miss my kids by being away from them for once. But I am also practically a new mom all over again and leaving your little ones will never be any easier no matter how many kids you may have.

    So heads up to all couples thinking of becoming parents, new parents and parents trying for another…it never gets easier, even the simplest things become difficult. Even the most innocent of acts become a challenge and make you question every aspect of it. You no longer think for or only about yourself, in fact, yourself usually becomes last on your list of priorities.

    But it’s worth it. There is no greater love then that of a child.

    Sincerely,
    A “W”orking Mom 🙂

The way to a mans heart….

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….is through his stomach. At least that’s what they say. I would agree with that along with many other things you will need to win a mans heart over, but that’s another post.
Along with art I take pride in my cooking. I don’t bake, I don’t cook every type of meal of the day, I don’t even make big fantastic dinners that often, and I definitely am no Gordon Ramsey; but when I do cook I cook pretty well…at least that’s what I’m told by my biggest fan/critic, my husband.

This particular dish pictured was my Chicken Alfredo dish I made the other day. And by made I mean taking care of kids usually doing everything with one hand with a newborn in the other and making sure it’s done by time my husband gets home from work. (Or a couple minutes after if I get highly distracted with the demands of my little minions). But this is by far one of my husbands favorite. And when I’m feeling in a good mood, I like to remind him I can actually kind of cook lol

When I first met my husband and was told the stories of the not so great meals that had been made for him in the past, and listened to him admit he ate minute rice from a box, I knew I had to do something. I knew this would win me some future wife points 🙂
I made a homemade dish of speghetti with homemade meatballs. I almost closed my eyes as he took his first bite hoping he wouldn’t be disappointed or even worse, think it’s horrible….but to my pleasant surprise he loved it. Slowly but surely that first homemade meal turned into many including but not limited to Lasagna, Baked Ziti, Rice and Beans with his “favorite sauce” as he calls it, steaks, pork, and many more. If I had more to spend without the vampires in my house called children who prefer money over blood, I would love to expand and cook different more upscale dishes. But for now my dinners seem to be satisfying the ones I love and that’s all the praise and reassurance I need.

Sincerely,
A secret fan of cooking