Back in Action!

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Hi everyone!

I have fell off planet earth for a while but don’t worry! I have made it back and am ready to fill you in!

As some of you may or may not know I just semi recently (10 months ago) had my first little girl (another blog in itself). Now with 3 little ones I physically pushed out and a step son I love as my own we are up to a 4 child family. (Ages: 7, 5, 2 1/2, and 10 months).

I have learned to accept our little big family, even though I am convinced my 2 year old is from another planet…an evil one..where they are taught in the womb how to torture their mothers. But I love him too much to send him back 🙂

I have found I love reading articles/blogs about having multiple kids (at 5am while my early bird of a daughter is up 😬) not only are they funny, but very true. I guess in a way they reassure me I’m not as crazy as I possibly think I am for having so many kids.  If you have 0 kids people think your selfish, if you have 4 or more they think your crazy lol by time you get past 2 you start realizing there is no such thing as a perfect parent and happily accept that. Found out that studies have shown having 3 kids rather than 1-2 is the most stressful while having 4 had the least stressed moms. All of the points are pretty valid. Although 1-2 kids seems like a breeze now, all the fun, valuable lessons learned for them (and us), the “never a boring day” feeling and amount of love they have and give to each other is worth all the headaches, tantrums, inability to “run into the store real quick”, 24/7 cartoons and lack of sleep. Kids of larger families learn there is no such thing as being selfish, learn the value of money, forever have a play date and with a couple little helpers actually makes parenting a little easier ☺️ I’m not encouraging anyone to have a mini sports team or circus, but if you think you may want to, just know your not crazy.. just really brave lol

I am dedicating myself to a good 5 minutes of my 24 hour day to get back to this blogging thing. With kids and a life like mine I would almost feel guilty not letting people get a little laugh out of my everyday adventurous (as my daughter chews on her foot as I’m trying to write this)

Stay tuned 😁

How is it possible?

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How is it possible that we created such a beautiful little being? How is it possible the very thing that caused me so much pain and discomfort could be so precious and innocent? How is it possible that I could fall so far in love with someone I just met? How is it possible that this little person will teach me things before I can even begin to teach her? How is it possible that she so easily changed our life by just being born and entering into our world? How is it possible this little being took over our heart? She has us wrapped around her little finger. She probably always will. She is our one and only daughter. She has given us an experience we never had before. An experience in which we had no idea what to expect or what to do. It’s a learning experience for all of us, but we have accepted it with open arms and will forever be grateful for this blessing we call our daughter. (Who just so happens to have 3 amazing big brothers who will make sure she is protected at all times for the rest of her life when mommy and daddy are no longer on this earth)
We love you ❤️

I should be sleeping…the end.

Everyone is asleep, and here I am, awake.

I could have been sleeping an hour ago when I was done feeding my newborn and she fell back into her dreams. But as soon as I layed down and closed my eyes, the first line of my second chapter of my book came to me. I had to make the important decision to either get up, get my phone and write it down, or take the risk of waking up and forgetting it completely. I tried to ignore my mind talking to me but I couldn’t. So I got up and wrote it down in my notepad. An hour later that sentence turned into half a page and the start to the ending of my book all together. I couldn’t turn my brain off, an issue I have usually every day and night. Now I will attempt to fall back asleep before having to wake up in an hour. Unless another sentence comes to me of course.

The end.

S.O.S

I have no idea what S.O.S stands for, all I do know it is a distress call. A call for help. Exactly what I need today.
The “to-do” list in my head is never ending. Some realistic goals, some not, (or maybe just in my mind they are not but in reality 100% possible).
My little man is turning 2 in two months, so naturally my mind begins to not only face the reality that he is getting bigger and no longer my baby. Along with that realization, I also begin to criticize myself as a mother for not having any plans for his birthday yet. Most likely it won’t be anything too elaborate being on a strict budget, having a newborn, and a super small family that makes having a big birthday celebration not even all that necessary. Along with him turning 2, I have had the joy of listening to and experiencing the ear piercing screeches of temper tantrums for little to no reasons at all. My 2 year old is the boss in his mind, and nothing, no one, not even mommy is going to change that. (Until Daddy comes home of course).
On top of that, my newborn is turning a month old this Friday. Another child that is growing up way too fast and making me more depressed. She has been experiencing gas pain and reflux, which mommies know mean lots of fussing, crying, and of course no sleep. My bedtime last night was 4:15AM after about 2 hours of consoling her back to sleep. Only to be woken a couple hours later to start the day.
And to think….I have orientation tomorrow for a part time job I have decided to take on along with my full time job as a mommy. I can only imagine my mood the first week or two, and the back pain I will be experiencing dealing with scoliosis to top it off. But what needs to be done, must be done, and that’s why we are super women ;).
On a more positive note, I have finished the first page of my book, and so far, I am proud already. It’s the one thing besides this blog I am doing for myself, and although I can’t write as much as I would like with the demands of all my children, I am determined to finish it and know once I do, it will be a true work of art. My own masterpiece.

A Face So Precious

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I can stare at her all day.

Whether she is awake or asleep. Whether she’s trying to keep up with all the lights, objects and people around her stimulating her little brain, or smiling and cooing in her sweetest of dreams. I can literally just sit here and stare at her….all day.

She reminds me of the purpose of life. The purpose of MY life. She reminds me the reasons why I will fight any battle, jump through any obstacle, and pass every test life may give to make sure she has the best I can give her.

I will not be the perfect parent, and I can only hope she forgives me for any mistakes I know I will make in the present and in the future.

So as I sit here and gaze at her as she slowly falls asleep beside me, I know that although I may not be the perfect parent and most likely never will be, there will never be another soul on this planet, or any other planet for that matter, that will love and cherish her as much as I do now and always will, until the end of my time.

She is and forever will be my everything. My lifeline.

A Mind With A Mind Of Its Own

As I lay here listening to their deep breaths, watching the rising and collapsing chest of my husband, daughter and son, I realize why I can’t fall back asleep. Here I am unable to enjoy the very rare moment of sleeping in past 8:30am.

My thoughts have thoughts, whose thoughts are currently taking over my ability to fall into a deep and peaceful sleep with which could lead to visions of sugar-plums dancing in my head….probably not, most likely it would be McDonalds fries and a mocha frappe, but that’s besides the point.

When I first started this blog it was based off the daily life of my adventours, good and bad, of being a mother. Little did I know this would turn into an outlet for when life took a turn and threw a brick at me called anxiety.

But I have decided instead of halting my writing and taking a break from blogging, I would use this as another form of helping myself to realize it’s ok to admit you have an issue (many issues), and no, I’m not the only one. And so far it has been a huge accomplishment and motivator.

So excuse my random post of my wild mind, my kids have not done anything too out of the ordinary lately anyway (surprisingly).

So to end this post I would like to say, I may not have many followers yet, although I still have confidence one day I will. But if I can reach the few I have and bring a smile or even a smerk, a sense of not being alone or misunderstood, then my plan and goal for this blog is working, and with that I would be more than happy.

Everything happens for a reason, and with that being said, enjoy the chapters of my life not many know or get to see. Chapters in which I don’t even know what the beginning or end will consist of, chapters we will read together.

Sincerely,

A mind with a mind of its own.

“My anxieties have anxieties”-Charles M. Schulz

Some days I have complete control; other days are pure torture.

Anyone who has had, or knows someone who has had anxiety, knows how disabling it can be.

As much as you try to reassure yourself, as much as you try to convince yourself that these thoughts do not exist, your brain tells you otherwise, and for whatever reason you truly, whole heartedly believe it.

Life becomes ten times more difficult dealing with the constant battle. Sometimes it leads you to feel helpless, insane, emotionally and mentally incapable of dealing with everyday life. Add small kids to the mix and its almost disastrous.

Of course you try all the self help techniques Google can provide before realizing it’s something deeper than any search engine can fix.

It takes a lot to admit when you have any type of problem, it takes putting aside the feelings of weakness, embarrassment, and the sense of failing knowing you couldn’t control it on your own or just simply make it stop, since it sounds so easy to do, but are quickly reminded that it’s not.

It takes that one moment of feeling like you’ve completely lost yourself, like you’ve completely lost your mind. That moment it starts affecting not only you, but those around you that you love the most but know don’t and probably never will understand.

And when that moment comes, take charge. Regain control of your thoughts, your mood and life by any means possible.

Life is too short, too precious, to be anything less than happy.

Sincerely,

A mind filled with worry.

Welcome to my world….

Hello World,

So I was given some advice to start a blog from the man I call my husband and father of my children. I had no idea of a topic being that personal hobbies do not exist in my household (for now) with us having a 6 year old, almost 2 year old and 1 week old newborn.  Trust me, there are many, MANY, things I am interested in or wishing I was doing/learning about, there just simply is not enough time in the day for any of it with the demands of these little humans. So as I sit here with the 10 minutes of free time I have snuck to the bathroom to have (as most moms do), I decided to think of a topic many can relate to, that has ups, downs and all arounds, and that can even possibly help some of the women who may be thinking “am I the only one?!” So here is my amazing, interesting, full of life topic:

I am a mom.

Prepare yourself for many post about the daily life of living with and caring for multiple kids, products that are life savers for anyone who may need them, and most likely a couple of vents and rants in between about how I must be admitted into a psyc ward….immediately.

I can only hope my fellow mommies can relate and even gain some type of satisfaction in knowing you are not the only one who feels crazy on a daily basis. And If not, at the least, find a little humor in my insanity. Goodnight.