Back in Action!

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Hi everyone!

I have fell off planet earth for a while but don’t worry! I have made it back and am ready to fill you in!

As some of you may or may not know I just semi recently (10 months ago) had my first little girl (another blog in itself). Now with 3 little ones I physically pushed out and a step son I love as my own we are up to a 4 child family. (Ages: 7, 5, 2 1/2, and 10 months).

I have learned to accept our little big family, even though I am convinced my 2 year old is from another planet…an evil one..where they are taught in the womb how to torture their mothers. But I love him too much to send him back 🙂

I have found I love reading articles/blogs about having multiple kids (at 5am while my early bird of a daughter is up 😬) not only are they funny, but very true. I guess in a way they reassure me I’m not as crazy as I possibly think I am for having so many kids.  If you have 0 kids people think your selfish, if you have 4 or more they think your crazy lol by time you get past 2 you start realizing there is no such thing as a perfect parent and happily accept that. Found out that studies have shown having 3 kids rather than 1-2 is the most stressful while having 4 had the least stressed moms. All of the points are pretty valid. Although 1-2 kids seems like a breeze now, all the fun, valuable lessons learned for them (and us), the “never a boring day” feeling and amount of love they have and give to each other is worth all the headaches, tantrums, inability to “run into the store real quick”, 24/7 cartoons and lack of sleep. Kids of larger families learn there is no such thing as being selfish, learn the value of money, forever have a play date and with a couple little helpers actually makes parenting a little easier ☺️ I’m not encouraging anyone to have a mini sports team or circus, but if you think you may want to, just know your not crazy.. just really brave lol

I am dedicating myself to a good 5 minutes of my 24 hour day to get back to this blogging thing. With kids and a life like mine I would almost feel guilty not letting people get a little laugh out of my everyday adventurous (as my daughter chews on her foot as I’m trying to write this)

Stay tuned 😁

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My days in prison

Be forewarned, I am about to vent and rant and whether anyone can relate is unknown.

Today is one of the days I am in prison. I’m not talking about an actual prison (unfortunately since I’d rather be anywhere but here right now) but the prison I call my home. Most days there is nowhere else I’d rather be, other days I feel trapped and alone with no way of escaping, only because it would be illegal to. I have been through this toddler phase before, but never to this extent. I also had a full time job that allowed myself some extra sanity to deal with it properly. But now I am going through the toddler stage with a newborn, a newborn who is starting to react to his continuous screeches and screams for many not so obvious reasons. I keep telling myself it will be over soon but my pounding headache is making that irrelevant right now. Iv tried different techniques, tried different ideas to control the tantrums yet I still get to experience and suffer from them everyday while trying to cater to and care for a newborn and my other son. I knew it wouldn’t be easy going into this, I was warned but never could have imagined this type of torture. I love my toddler. I love him with my whole entire heart but being this thing called a human only allows myself to tolerate so much at one time. Which usually leads to me calling my husband with every emotion possible and feeling as if I am not only weak but failing. Then the resentment sets in as I speak to him that he never has to go through this punishment, he gets to escape to work for long hours while I am stuck in these walls with what you would think is a wild animal. And even when he is home my toddler decided to be on his best behavior for the most part. Not to mention he will be working on Saturdays again soon which means every other weekend I will get to not only have my screaming toddler and crying newborn but my older son and stepson to cater to on top of it. I used to have all the patience in the world with one child. That has quickly changed. So to say the least I am extremely glad I have decided to take on a part time job, although my back kills me and I’m on my feet the whole time with only a 15 minute break, it has almost become a necessity in order to keep my sanity away from these days when I’m in prison.

Sincerely,
A mother who has high hopes in one day, sooner than later, regaining some mental freedom and sanity.

How is it possible?

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How is it possible that we created such a beautiful little being? How is it possible the very thing that caused me so much pain and discomfort could be so precious and innocent? How is it possible that I could fall so far in love with someone I just met? How is it possible that this little person will teach me things before I can even begin to teach her? How is it possible that she so easily changed our life by just being born and entering into our world? How is it possible this little being took over our heart? She has us wrapped around her little finger. She probably always will. She is our one and only daughter. She has given us an experience we never had before. An experience in which we had no idea what to expect or what to do. It’s a learning experience for all of us, but we have accepted it with open arms and will forever be grateful for this blessing we call our daughter. (Who just so happens to have 3 amazing big brothers who will make sure she is protected at all times for the rest of her life when mommy and daddy are no longer on this earth)
We love you ❤️

S.O.S

I have no idea what S.O.S stands for, all I do know it is a distress call. A call for help. Exactly what I need today.
The “to-do” list in my head is never ending. Some realistic goals, some not, (or maybe just in my mind they are not but in reality 100% possible).
My little man is turning 2 in two months, so naturally my mind begins to not only face the reality that he is getting bigger and no longer my baby. Along with that realization, I also begin to criticize myself as a mother for not having any plans for his birthday yet. Most likely it won’t be anything too elaborate being on a strict budget, having a newborn, and a super small family that makes having a big birthday celebration not even all that necessary. Along with him turning 2, I have had the joy of listening to and experiencing the ear piercing screeches of temper tantrums for little to no reasons at all. My 2 year old is the boss in his mind, and nothing, no one, not even mommy is going to change that. (Until Daddy comes home of course).
On top of that, my newborn is turning a month old this Friday. Another child that is growing up way too fast and making me more depressed. She has been experiencing gas pain and reflux, which mommies know mean lots of fussing, crying, and of course no sleep. My bedtime last night was 4:15AM after about 2 hours of consoling her back to sleep. Only to be woken a couple hours later to start the day.
And to think….I have orientation tomorrow for a part time job I have decided to take on along with my full time job as a mommy. I can only imagine my mood the first week or two, and the back pain I will be experiencing dealing with scoliosis to top it off. But what needs to be done, must be done, and that’s why we are super women ;).
On a more positive note, I have finished the first page of my book, and so far, I am proud already. It’s the one thing besides this blog I am doing for myself, and although I can’t write as much as I would like with the demands of all my children, I am determined to finish it and know once I do, it will be a true work of art. My own masterpiece.

A Face So Precious

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I can stare at her all day.

Whether she is awake or asleep. Whether she’s trying to keep up with all the lights, objects and people around her stimulating her little brain, or smiling and cooing in her sweetest of dreams. I can literally just sit here and stare at her….all day.

She reminds me of the purpose of life. The purpose of MY life. She reminds me the reasons why I will fight any battle, jump through any obstacle, and pass every test life may give to make sure she has the best I can give her.

I will not be the perfect parent, and I can only hope she forgives me for any mistakes I know I will make in the present and in the future.

So as I sit here and gaze at her as she slowly falls asleep beside me, I know that although I may not be the perfect parent and most likely never will be, there will never be another soul on this planet, or any other planet for that matter, that will love and cherish her as much as I do now and always will, until the end of my time.

She is and forever will be my everything. My lifeline.

Once Upon A Mommys Time….

Once upon a mommys time, there were two babies I called mine.

In what seemed like seconds, time flew by, as my babies grew in a blink of an eye.

I look at them now, my heart in human forms, they are truly my sunshine in all of life’s storms.

They give me something money can’t buy, and I will love them forever til the day that I die.

Love always,

Mommy

They were born to torture us….right?

It’s Monday….


That statement alone is never associated with anything positive.

The weekend is over which means my husband goes back to work, which also means the extra two hands I have had over the weekend are leaving out that door with him. Not to mention as soon as the door shuts and his foot leaves off the front step, the kids huddle together and make an evil plot to drive me as crazy as possible until Daddy comes back home (they don’t really huddle up or make an evil plan, but in my mind they do). Please keep in mind today is a 4 against 1 day, with my kids being ages 6, 4, almost 2 and 2 weeks old….(yea, I know, I am a little crazy myself for having them all) Now I have experience, not only being a mother, but I worked at a daycare for almost 4 years (which ratio was 10 three year olds to just myself at times), and took child development classes while completing my associates degree in Education. So I should have this completely under control! Right? Wrong! The difference is, these are MY kids, and MY kids know how to get over on mommy and beat the system, and by “the system” I mean all the things my textbooks, classes, and experience has taught me to avoid days like this….let’s continue.

I know what most may think, “Be grateful you have kids to drive you crazy, some try all their life with no luck!”  And trust me, if it wasn’t for my kids I would not be where I am today, or who I am today, but please keep in mind, we mothers are still human at the end of the day. So before I continue my vent, never mistaken my frustration with lack of love. I absolutely love all my kids, including my stepson, and would never trade them for anything, including peace and sanity. (Even though my brain is currently correcting me and trying to convince my heart that I probably would, just for a day).

I will admit, I envy not having whatever Daddys have to put kids on their best behavior with one look (yes, “thee look”, which my mother used to tell me my grandfather had mastered when she was younger and now I completely understand it). And as I have spent the first half of my Monday listening to ear piercing screams, tantrums being thrown, complaining, whining, and of course my own voice repeating itself multiple times, I am  wishing I not only had those extra set of hands but “thee look” to save me from feeling like I am slowly but surely not only loosing the battle, but my mind as well.

So as I sit here I try to wrap my mind around how I created this chaos, I question how these precious little innocent babies have turned into crazy kids who have turned my home, my safe place, into a psyc ward, a very messy, unorganized psyc ward, and I continue to count down the hours until Daddy is back home. And then I realize within that thought process, they must have been born to torture me…right?

Sincerely,

The real thoughts of a mommy in distress

It’s a Girl!

Those are the words I heard from my husband (who wouldn’t let me find out at our ultrasound that day) about 5 months ago right after showing me a picture of a father holding a little girl in a ballerina tutu. I denied it and had somewhat of a mini panic attack….let me explain…

I live in a household of all boys and a man. I have my 6 year old, almost 2 year old, and a 4 year old stepson. I myself was an only child. So with that being said, I’m sure you could understand how uncomfortable I was with the idea of having a girl.

Mostly everyone in my life wanted me to have my own little princess to outweigh all the testosterone in my home, (including my husband who of course wanted his daddy’s little girl). And honestly, I knew deep down all along it was a girl but liked staying in denial for my own sanity. I loved doing other little girls hair and nails, but those little girls I would then give back to their mommies. This one I wasn’t going to be able to give back, she would be stuck with me, I would be stuck with her, and I wasn’t sure if I was ready to handle that or even if I would know how to.

You hear everyone tell you their horror stories of their little divas, and I have watched first hand working at a preschool how feisty (to put it nicely) little girls have become at a much younger age. So not only did I have my memories of the torture I put my own mother through (and by torture I mean I would have disowned myself if I could go back in time), but I had to also deal with the reality that I may have a monster on my hands, a beautiful and precious, but terrifying monster nonetheless. So for the next 4 months I stayed in denial, never fully accepting the truth, and still expecting the baby to come out with boy parts during delivery.

Well 2 weeks ago, I gave birth to that terrifying beautiful, precious little monster, and no, she didn’t come out with boy parts, she was 100% a girl. Since that day, I have fully accepted she is my daughter, my first and only daughter, and I have fell more and more in love everyday. She has made me take back every time I replied to someone and said “I hope it’s a boy”. (Don’t get me wrong, I absolutely love my boys!) but she definitely gives me a different type of feeling that words cannot explain. I wouldn’t trade her for the world. She is definitely the sunshine to my rainy days and my little best friend. She has proved me wrong in so many ways and has made me so proud to say “I have a daughter”. I could not be more excited to not only watch her grow but be a part of her life as she does.

She’s stuck with me…and I’m stuck with her…and I wouldn’t have it any other way.

“Do I really need this?” No, no you don’t!

I get it…..

As a first time mom, you look through every parenting magazine and Amazon.com review to get the best product for your new little pride and joy and don’t care what the price may be.

Don’t do it!

Babies are expensive on their own, don’t break the bank trying to buy the best of the best when there are many things you will soon realize you either never use or will not be worth the money you spent on it.

Don’t get me wrong, not every baby is the same, but having three kids of my own, I have learned a couple lessons on buying pointless things for my first child. So I am here to tell you some of the unnecessary and necessary products you should or should not buy….so let’s get started with the life savers.

You can find these products almost anywhere, especially online at Amazon.com, but I HIGHLY recommend  if you have a Facebook that you search your local yard sale sites where you can find these products for 50-75% off retail price in great condition. (Yes, I am a HUGE bargain shopper…with being nowhere near rich and having three kids you have to be)

4 products I have bought for my baby/toddler that have saved me from bald spots and possibly being self admitted into a hospital has been  1. A Superyard, 2. A Booster Seat, 3. Bassinet and 4. A Fisher Price Swing/Graco soothing swing center.

1. The Superyard has been one of my best investments, when you have a toddler that likes to get into everything and anything, and you feel as though only a cage would tame him/her, the Superyard will feel like it was made just for you and your sanity. It can be used indoors or outdoors and with a couple of blankets and some toys, your child will get to walk around but stay contained without having to worry about when you take your eyes of him/her.  This is TRULY a life saver, ESPECIALLY when you have multiple children.

Next, the booster seat. My toddler started very early finding his way to stand in his high chair as soon as I walked away and would give me heart attacks at least three times a day. I decided it was time for a big boy seat and bought him a booster seat. Another life saving product that was WELL worth the 25.00. Not only does it keep him contained and makes him feel like a big boy, but it has a cup holder, can strap to any chair and is also easily portable to bring into any room or outing to keep your terrifying, tantrum throwing toddler content and happy.

Thirdly, the bassinet has been a life saver for my youngest. All my kids have always come straight from the hospital into a crib and I have never had an issue with them not wanting to be in a crib, my philosophy is they know nothing other than your womb, they know no difference between a crib or your bed or anything else, so why drive yourself crazy putting them in your bed and getting them into a habit (not to mention risk their safety) and sometimes even sacrafice and loose the quality time and intimacy with your significant other just to have your child in the bed with you? My daughter LOVES being near me and on top of me at all times, So the bassinet that can be easily placed beside the bed and keep her safe while still close to me allows her to feel comforted and sleep beautifully through the night. So save yourself the headache and worry and invest in a bassinet if the crib is not  working out just yet.

Lastly, I have seen many VERY expensive swings and products that claim they feel just like mommy, NOTHING feels or more importantly smells like mommy. Therefore, don’t waste your money, I have found that the Fisher Price Swings with the lights and the Graco Sweetpeace Swing Center have been my best friends when it has come to needing something other than my arms to soothe a fussy baby. The Graco swing even allows you to put your Graco Infant carseat on the frame and swings the car seat instead of having to wake your sleeping baby to put them in the swing. What more could you ask for? Not to mention it is cheaper than any of those other swings you may see celebs using or find in a magazine.

So my point is, you will not need or even use half the things you see advertised. And just remember, NO your newborn doesn’t care how expensive the product is, NO your 1 month old doesn’t need name brand clothing or Nike sneakers or converse that they will grow out of in a month, and NO your newborn/toddler will never grow up and think or tell how how you were the best mom in the world for how much money you spent on unnecessary things for them they will not even remember having. So to any new mommies or even mommies to be, save your money and realize sometimes it really is NOT worth it.

Just an opinion and some advice from a mommy who has gone through it already and had my pockets bare for no good reason. If you have a pricey product your thinking about buying and want to know “is it worth it?” or “will my baby actually use this?”, feel free to comment the product and I will be more than happy to give my opinion. Happy Shopping Mommies!