Those are the words I heard from my husband (who wouldn’t let me find out at our ultrasound that day) about 5 months ago right after showing me a picture of a father holding a little girl in a ballerina tutu. I denied it and had somewhat of a mini panic attack….let me explain…
I live in a household of all boys and a man. I have my 6 year old, almost 2 year old, and a 4 year old stepson. I myself was an only child. So with that being said, I’m sure you could understand how uncomfortable I was with the idea of having a girl.
Mostly everyone in my life wanted me to have my own little princess to outweigh all the testosterone in my home, (including my husband who of course wanted his daddy’s little girl). And honestly, I knew deep down all along it was a girl but liked staying in denial for my own sanity. I loved doing other little girls hair and nails, but those little girls I would then give back to their mommies. This one I wasn’t going to be able to give back, she would be stuck with me, I would be stuck with her, and I wasn’t sure if I was ready to handle that or even if I would know how to.
You hear everyone tell you their horror stories of their little divas, and I have watched first hand working at a preschool how feisty (to put it nicely) little girls have become at a much younger age. So not only did I have my memories of the torture I put my own mother through (and by torture I mean I would have disowned myself if I could go back in time), but I had to also deal with the reality that I may have a monster on my hands, a beautiful and precious, but terrifying monster nonetheless. So for the next 4 months I stayed in denial, never fully accepting the truth, and still expecting the baby to come out with boy parts during delivery.
Well 2 weeks ago, I gave birth to that terrifying beautiful, precious little monster, and no, she didn’t come out with boy parts, she was 100% a girl. Since that day, I have fully accepted she is my daughter, my first and only daughter, and I have fell more and more in love everyday. She has made me take back every time I replied to someone and said “I hope it’s a boy”. (Don’t get me wrong, I absolutely love my boys!) but she definitely gives me a different type of feeling that words cannot explain. I wouldn’t trade her for the world. She is definitely the sunshine to my rainy days and my little best friend. She has proved me wrong in so many ways and has made me so proud to say “I have a daughter”. I could not be more excited to not only watch her grow but be a part of her life as she does.
She’s stuck with me…and I’m stuck with her…and I wouldn’t have it any other way.